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morevacantThe screen swaps from black to pink, and Lydia's voice can be heard singing,
"Lydia B, Lydia B, Lydia B, B, B."
Over the top, her name is scrawled in what looks like red lipstick before the screen cuts to a close up of Lydia's face.
Hi guys.
Today, I'm talking about maggots, and I don't mean the little creepy crawlies. I mean the furry kind. The kind that walk on four paws and run to the beck and call of wrinkly old hags who've never heard of moisturiser in their lives. Like, EW. Fork out a bit and get a Miracle Buff. Believe me, your skin will thank you.
ANYWAY. Some maggots are really nosy. Like, looking on other people's phones nosy, and sticking their nose in where it isn't bloody wanted. And some maggots are going to get their necks wrung when I get hold of them again - telling me who I can and cannot see. Like they're going to stop me.
Which brings me to MEN. Yep, you heard me. Men are leeches - slimy and just feeding off you until they get so fat that they stop phoning you and go prey on some poor other unsuspecting girl. So remember - if you're with a man, count how many he's had before because I am telling you now, you won't be the last.
Screw you all. I'm going to be a nun.
"Lydia B, Lydia B, Lydia B, B, B."
Over the top, her name is scrawled in what looks like red lipstick before the screen cuts to a close up of Lydia's face.
Hi guys.
Today, I'm talking about maggots, and I don't mean the little creepy crawlies. I mean the furry kind. The kind that walk on four paws and run to the beck and call of wrinkly old hags who've never heard of moisturiser in their lives. Like, EW. Fork out a bit and get a Miracle Buff. Believe me, your skin will thank you.
ANYWAY. Some maggots are really nosy. Like, looking on other people's phones nosy, and sticking their nose in where it isn't bloody wanted. And some maggots are going to get their necks wrung when I get hold of them again - telling me who I can and cannot see. Like they're going to stop me.
Which brings me to MEN. Yep, you heard me. Men are leeches - slimy and just feeding off you until they get so fat that they stop phoning you and go prey on some poor other unsuspecting girl. So remember - if you're with a man, count how many he's had before because I am telling you now, you won't be the last.
Screw you all. I'm going to be a nun.
